托福作文练习
托福作文练习
（一）学术写作：
例一
原答案：
In the reading passage, Richard Ill was accused to order the death of his two nephews. But the lecturer holds the opposite views and lists out several evidences.
First of all, the speaker challenges the opinion raised in the article that Richard held a strong motive to kill the children for their standing in his way of being a legally admitted king. Because Richard Ill toke use of another different strategy, which was to make their parents’ marriage illegal, and thus he could win the position of king and had no reason the harm his nephews.
Secondly, the writer claims that most writers at that time believes that Richard Ill planned the murder. However, the speaker points out that these authers, including William Shakespeare, are supported by Richard Ill’s enemy, Tutor family, who were planning to become royal parts. Thus the claims made by them is not trustable.
Finally, in the article, 2 skeletons of children are charged as the evidence of Richard Ill’s murder. In contrast, the speaker holds the oppinion that it’s imposible to determine whether these skeletons are the childs’ because we cant determine the age and even the gentle of that. Furthermore, many children dead are buried there, so it also increases the difficulty in determinate.
出现的错误：
- Richard Ill
- 原文中多次写成“Richard Ill”，应该是“Richard III”。
- 例：In the reading passage, Richard Ill was accused…
- 改为：In the reading passage, Richard III was accused…
- accused to order
- 原文：“Richard III was accused to order the death…”
- 正确用法：accused of doing something
- 改为：Richard III was accused of ordering the death…
- opposite views （单复数不匹配）
- 原文：“the lecturer holds the opposite views…”
- 可以改为：“the lecturer holds the opposite view…”或“opposite point of view…”
- lists out several evidences（名词“evidence”不可数）
- 原文：“…and lists out several evidences.”
- 改为：“…and lists several pieces of evidence.” 或 “…and lists several pieces of supporting evidence.”
- Because… 句式（句子结构与表达问题）
- 原文在第一段末尾出现：“Because Richard Ill toke use of…”且“toke use of”也有拼写和搭配问题。
- “Because”不宜单独作为句子开头，后面紧跟的句子会变成从属句，需要放入主句或合并。
- 改为：“Richard III used another strategy: he had their parents’ marriage declared illegal, so he had no reason to harm his nephews.”
- toke use of → took advantage of / used
- 原文：“Richard Ill toke use of another different strategy…”
- 建议改为：“Richard III used another strategy…”或“Richard III took advantage of a different strategy…”
- had no reason the harm → had no reason to harm
- 动词不定式需用“to”
- 原文：“…and had no reason the harm his nephews.”
- 改为：“…and had no reason to harm his nephews.”
- most writers at that time believes → most writers at that time believed
- 时态应统一用过去式
- 原文：“…most writers at that time believes…”
- 改为：“…most writers at that time believed…”
- authers → authors
- 原文：“…these authers, including William Shakespeare…”
- 改为：“…these authors, including William Shakespeare…”
- Tutor family → Tudor family
- 历史上为“Tudor王朝”
- 原文：“… supported by Richard III’s enemy, Tutor family…”
- 改为：“… supported by Richard III’s enemies, the Tudor family…”
- were planning to become royal parts
- 原文：“…who were planning to become royal parts.”
- 建议表达：“…who planned to establish themselves as the royal family.” 或 “…who intended to take over the royal throne.”
- the claims made by them is not trustable
- “is”与“claims”不一致；“trustable”不如“trustworthy”或“reliable”常见
- 改为：“the claims they made are not trustworthy.” 或“are not reliable.”
- 2 skeletons → two skeletons
- 正式写作中，建议使用文字而非数字直接写出
- 原文：“Finally, in the article, 2 skeletons of children…”
- 改为：“Finally, in the article, two skeletons of children…”
- oppinion → opinion
- 原文：“…the speaker holds the oppinion…”
- 改为：“…the speaker holds the opinion…”
- imposible → impossible
- 原文：“…it’s imposible to determine…”
- 改为：“…it’s impossible to determine…”
- the childs’ → the children’s
- 原文：“…whether these skeletons are the childs’…”
- 改为：“…whether these skeletons are the children’s…”
- cant → can’t
- 原文：“…because we cant determine the age…”
- 改为：“…because we can’t determine the age…”
- gentle → gender
- 原文：“…and even the gentle of that.”
- 改为：“…and even their gender.”
- many children dead are buried → many dead children were buried
- 原文：“…many children dead are buried there…”
- 改为：“…many dead children were buried there…”
- it also increases the difficulty in determinate
- “determine”或“identifying”更合适
- 原文：“…so it also increases the difficulty in determinate.”
- 改为：“…which makes it more difficult to determine who they were.” 或 “…which makes identification even harder.”
修改后示例版本
In the reading passage, Richard III was accused of ordering the death of his two nephews. However, the lecturer holds the opposite view and provides several pieces of evidence to refute this claim.
First, the speaker challenges the notion that Richard had a strong motive to kill the children in order to secure the throne. Instead, Richard III used another strategy by having their parents’ marriage declared illegal, which rendered the nephews illegitimate. As a result, he no longer had any reason to harm them.
Second, while the reading passage points out that many contemporary authors believed Richard III committed the murders, the lecturer notes that these authors, including William Shakespeare and Sir Thomas More, were supported by Richard’s enemies, the Tudor family. Since the Tudors wanted to justify their own takeover of the throne, the claims they made are not trustworthy.
Finally, although two skeletons were discovered in the Tower of London, the lecturer argues that it is impossible to determine their age or even gender. Moreover, many dead children were buried there over the centuries, so it is difficult to determine whether these remains belonged to Richard’s nephews. Thus, the evidence presented in the reading is not conclusive.
例二
原答案
In the reading passage, “Nazca Lines” were claimed to function as astronomical calendar, art works and ancient racetracks. However, the lecturer holds the opposite view and provides several pieces of evidence to refute this claim.
First, the speaker challenges the notion that “Nazca Lines” served as an astronomical calendar. Instead, he points out that the major parts of the “Nazca Lines” didn’t match up with any stars and planets in the sky. Furthermore, considering so many stars on the sky, he holds the view that relationship between “Nazca Lines” and astronomical events is just coincidence.
Second, while reading passage points out that “Nazca Lines” could be artworks and worked like pyramid and sculptures of Easter Island, the lecturer notes that “Nazca Lines” only seems like artwork overhead, which means that there is no reason to regard it as artworks from a perspective on the flat plain.
Finally, although there is evidence that people travel by foot along these lines, the lecturer argues that the lines are too complex for foot race. Moreover, as people had to move following particular regulations during some religious events, the “Nazca Lines” might be used in some religious ceremonies for people to walk along.
你这篇作文整体结构清晰，能够按照“阅读主张 + 听力反驳”的模式来组织内容，逻辑很好，但确实存在一些语法、拼写、时态、冠词、介词等方面的问题。下面我们先逐条列出问题并解释原因与修改方式，然后提供一篇润色后的范文供你参考。
问题 1：as astronomical calendar, art works and ancient racetracks
- ❌ “calendar”应为可数名词：“an astronomical calendar”
- ❌ “art works” 一般用作不可数名词“artwork”，或“works of art”
- ✅ 修改为：**as an astronomical calendar, artwork, and ancient racetracks.
问题 2：“on the sky”
- ❌ 正确搭配是“in the sky”
- ✅ 改为：in the sky
问题 3：“relationship… is just coincidence”
- ❌ “is just coincidence”不完整，应为“just a coincidence”
- ✅ 改为：is just a coincidence
问题 4：the relationship between… 应加冠词
- ✅ 改为：that the relationship between the Nazca Lines and astronomical events is just a coincidence.
问题 5：while reading passage → while *the* reading passage
- ✅ 应加定冠词：while the reading passage
问题 6：“pyramid”应为复数
- ❌ 应与“sculptures”对齐
- ✅ 改为：pyramids and sculptures
问题 7：“only seems like artwork overhead”
- ❌ 主语为复数时，“seems”应改为“seem”；且搭配不自然
- ✅ 改为：only appear to be artworks when viewed from above
问题 8：“as artworks from a perspective on the flat plain”
- ❌ 表达不自然，建议简化
- ✅ 改为：**there is no reason to consider them artworks when viewed from the ground
问题 9：“people travel”时态问题
- ❌ 上文为过去式，应保持一致
- ✅ 改为：people traveled by foot
问题 10：“for foot race”应加冠词
- ✅ 改为：for a foot race
问题 11：“people had to move following particular regulations”语序问题
- ✅ 改为：people had to follow particular rules while moving during religious events
问题 12：句尾表达不够简练
- ✅ 可简化为：“the Nazca Lines might have been used as ceremonial walking paths during religious rituals.”
最终范文：
In the reading passage, the Nazca Lines were claimed to function as an astronomical calendar, artwork, and ancient racetracks. However, the lecturer holds the opposite view and provides several pieces of evidence to refute this claim.
First, the speaker challenges the notion that the Nazca Lines served as an astronomical calendar. He points out that most of the lines do not align with any stars or planets in the sky. Furthermore, given the vast number of stars, he argues that the relationship between the Nazca Lines and astronomical events is just a coincidence.
Second, while the reading passage suggests that the Nazca Lines could be works of art, similar to the pyramids or the sculptures of Easter Island, the lecturer notes that the lines only appear to be artworks when viewed from above. Since the Nazca people could not see the designs from that perspective, he argues there is no reason to believe the lines were intended to be seen as artwork.
Finally, although there is evidence that people traveled by foot along these lines, the lecturer argues that the lines are too complex to have been designed for a foot race. Instead, he suggests that the lines were likely used in religious ceremonies, where participants followed the paths as part of ritual movements governed by specific rules.
例三
原文
In the reading passage, lions are claimed to live in groups for several reasons. However, the lecturer holds the opposite view and provides several pieces of evidence.
Firstly, the speaker challeges the notion that female lions tend to form groups to feed their cubs cooperatively, which is the reason lead to the preference of cooperation. Instead, this theory doesn’t goes very well because the female lions only feed the cubs that are not their brought by them when they are alsleep. After they wake up, the cubs will be chased away.
Secondly, while the reading passage points out that lions employ strategy of group cooperation to hunt for food and increase the possibility to catch challenging prey, the lecturer notes that a single lion already has the capability to catch smaller and easier preys such as pigs by itself, thus it is enough for individual living and the prey won’t be shared with others.
Finally, although female lions do form groups to repel the male lion indavors, there exists evidence that the male lions also form groups of seven to eight individuals, and so do the cubs. Therefore, protecting the cubs can not be a fully convincing reason to bring lions together.
第一点
Firstly, the speaker challeges the notion that female lions tend to form groups to feed their cubs cooperatively, which is the reason lead to the preference of cooperation.
- challeges → challenges（拼写错误）
- lead to → leading to（非谓语短语）
Instead, this theory doesn’t goes very well because the female lions only feed the cubs that are not their brought by them when they are alsleep. After they wake up, the cubs will be chased away.
- doesn’t goes → doesn’t go（主谓一致错误）
- their brought by them → not brought by them（表达错误）
- alsleep → asleep（拼写错误）
第二点
Secondly, while the reading passage points out that lions employ strategy of group cooperation to hunt for food and increase the possibility to catch challenging prey, the lecturer notes that a single lion already has the capability to catch smaller and easier preys such as pigs by itself, thus it is enough for individual living and the prey won’t be shared with others.
- employ strategy of → employ a strategy of
- possibility to catch → possibility of catching
- preys → prey（不可数）
- by itself → alone（更自然）
第三点
Finally, although female lions do form groups to repel the male lion indavors, there exists evidence that the male lions also form groups of seven to eight individuals, and so do the cubs. Therefore, protecting the cubs can not be a fully convincing reason to bring lions together.
- indavors → invaders（拼写错误）
- and so do the cubs → cubs不会自己 forming groups，这句话不对
- can not → cannot（拼写习惯）
- fully convincing → entirely convincing（更正式）
完整范文（官方风格）
In the reading passage, it is suggested that lions live in groups for several reasons. However, the lecturer disagrees and provides several pieces of evidence to challenge these ideas.
Firstly, the speaker challenges the idea that female lions form groups in order to feed their cubs cooperatively. He explains that female lions only allow cubs that are not their own to nurse when they are asleep. Once they wake up, they quickly chase those cubs away. Therefore, cubs do not benefit much from this behavior.
Secondly, while the reading states that lions hunt in groups to catch large prey, the lecturer argues that a single lion can easily catch smaller animals, such as wild pigs, alone. Lions that live alone do not need to share food, so living in groups does not necessarily improve their nutrition.
Finally, although the reading claims that female lions form groups to protect their cubs from invading males, the lecturer points out that male lions also form groups called coalitions. Since both male and female lions form groups regardless of whether cubs are present, protecting cubs cannot be considered the primary reason for lions’ social behavior.
例四：
题目：
原答案：
In the reading passage, it is said that modern English people are mostly descended from the Anglo-Saxons. However, the lecturer holds the opposite view and provides several pieces of evidence to refute this claim.
Firstly, the speaker challenges the notion that the Anglo-Saxons immigration with massive scales replaces the native Celts. Instead, the sources recording these facts mistakenly ignore the size of the calculated population, which means the native population of Celts was still higher than the Anglo-Saxons.
Secondly, while the reading passage points out that modern English language is derived from Anglo-Saxons’ language, the lecturer notes that this fact can not serve as a supporting material, because that might just due to the possibility that the original Celts adapted the new language brought from Anglo-Saxons as their own.
Finally, although there is genetic evidence that the genes of current inhabitants from several villages perform more similarly as those of Anglo-Saxons, the lecturer argues that the places where the gene samples come from are too limited. And due to the reason that these villiages locates closely to Denmark and Germany, it is obvious to have a higher genetic similarity, but the situation can not be expand to the whole England. Thus, the evidence presented in the reading passage is not conclusive.
原句 2：
Firstly, the speaker challenges the notion that the Anglo-Saxons immigration with massive scales replaces the native Celts.
❌ 问题：
- “the Anglo-Saxons immigration” → 名词前不加定冠词，且应为“Anglo-Saxon immigration”（形容词作定语）
- “with massive scales” → 不自然，应为“on a massive scale”
- “replaces” → 时态问题，应为“replaced”
✅ 建议修改：
Firstly, the speaker challenges the notion that Anglo-Saxon immigration on a massive scale replaced the native Celts.
原句 3：
Instead, the sources recording these facts mistakenly ignore the size of the calculated population, which means the native population of Celts was still higher than the Anglo-Saxons.
❌ 问题：
- “recording these facts” → awkward，可简化
- “calculated population” → 不自然，建议为“total population”或“estimated population”
- “was still higher than the Anglo-Saxons” → 应为“…than that of the Anglo-Saxons”
✅ 建议修改：
Instead, historical sources failed to consider the total population sizes, meaning the native Celtic population was likely larger than that of the Anglo-Saxons.
原句 4：
Secondly, while the reading passage points out that modern English language is derived from Anglo-Saxons’ language, the lecturer notes that this fact can not serve as a supporting material, because that might just due to the possibility that the original Celts adapted the new language brought from Anglo-Saxons as their own.
❌ 问题：
- “Anglo-Saxons’ language” → 更自然的说法是 “the Anglo-Saxon language”
- “can not” → 推荐写作形式为“cannot”
- “supporting material” → “supporting evidence” 更自然
- “that might just due to” → 语法错误，应该是 “might just be due to”
- “adapted the new language” → 应为 “adopted”（采用），不是“adapted”（适应）
✅ 建议修改：
Secondly, while the reading passage claims that the modern English language is derived from the Anglo-Saxon language, the lecturer argues that this cannot serve as supporting evidence, because it might simply be due to the possibility that the original Celts adopted the new language introduced by the Anglo-Saxons.
原句 5：
Finally, although there is genetic evidence that the genes of current inhabitants from several villages perform more similarly as those of Anglo-Saxons, the lecturer argues that the places where the gene samples come from are too limited.
❌ 问题：
- “perform more similarly as” → 应为 “are more similar to”
- “places where the gene samples come from” → 太啰嗦，可简化为 “the sampling locations are too limited”
✅ 建议修改：
Finally, although genetic evidence shows that the genes of current inhabitants from several villages are more similar to those of the Anglo-Saxons, the lecturer argues that the sampling locations are too limited.
原句 6：
And due to the reason that these villiages locates closely to Denmark and Germany, it is obvious to have a higher genetic similarity, but the situation can not be expand to the whole England.
❌ 问题：
- “due to the reason that” → 冗余，改为 “because” 或 “since”
- “villiages” → 拼写错误，应为 “villages”
- “locates” → 主语是 villages（复数），应为 “are located”
- “obvious to have” → 不地道，应为 “it is natural for them to have”
- “can not be expand” → 应为 “cannot be expanded”
- “the whole England” → 应为 “the whole of England” 或 “all of England”
✅ 建议修改：
Since these villages are located close to Denmark and Germany, it is natural for them to have higher genetic similarity. However, this situation cannot be generalized to the whole of England.
原句 7：
Thus, the evidence presented in the reading passage is not conclusive.
✅ 正确，但也可以微调为更书面风格：
Therefore, the evidence presented in the reading passage **cannot be considered conclusive.
完整盖板
In the reading passage, it is claimed that modern English people are mostly descended from the Anglo-Saxons. However, the lecturer holds a different view and provides several pieces of evidence to refute this claim.
Firstly, the speaker challenges the notion that Anglo-Saxon immigration on a massive scale replaced the native Celts. Instead, historical sources failed to consider the total population sizes, meaning the native Celtic population was likely larger than that of the Anglo-Saxons.
Secondly, while the reading passage claims that the modern English language is derived from the Anglo-Saxon language, the lecturer argues that this cannot serve as supporting evidence. It might simply be due to the possibility that the original Celts adopted the Anglo-Saxon language over time.
Finally, although genetic evidence shows that the genes of current inhabitants from several villages are more similar to those of the Anglo-Saxons, the lecturer argues that the sampling locations are too limited. Since these villages are located close to Denmark and Germany, it is natural for them to have higher genetic similarity. However, this situation cannot be generalized to the whole of England.
Therefore, the evidence presented in the reading passage cannot be considered conclusive.
总结
（一）你在学术写作中最容易犯的错误类型
| 错误类型 | 具体表现 | 正确思维/表达 |
|---|---|---|
| 1. 拼写错误 | Ill, challeges, alsleep, authers, indavors, oppinion, instrusctions | 考试时注意名词、学科类、历史类专有名词；写完检查拼写 |
| 2. 名词单复数错误 | evidences, preys, childs | evidence（不可数）, prey（不可数）, children（复数） |
| 3. 动词错误 | accused to do, doesn’t goes, lead to | accused of doing, doesn’t go, leading to |
| 4. 冠词错误 | employ strategy, reading passage | employ a strategy, the reading passage |
| 5. 搭配错误 | on the sky, their brought by them, suffer instructions | in the sky, not brought by them, offer instructions |
| 6. 表达不自然 | royal parts, this theory doesn’t go well | royal family, this theory is not convincing |
| 7. 逻辑不当或语义错误 | so do the cubs（cubs不会 forming group） | cubs 不 forming groups，可改为：both males and females form groups regardless of cubs |
| 8. 不完整句或句子碎裂 | because 开头的句子断裂 | 合并或补充完整 |
| 9. 词性混用 | trustable | trustworthy / reliable |
| 10. 时态错误 | believes（过去背景） | believed |
（二）万能答题模板（托福听力反驳阅读）
这个模板可以帮助你快速组织文章逻辑和语言，同时最大限度避免错误。
开头段（总述）
In the reading passage, it is suggested that + 阅读观点总结. However, the lecturer holds the opposite view and provides several pieces of evidence to refute this claim.
第一段（第一个反驳点）
Firstly, the speaker challenges the notion that + 阅读具体观点. Instead, ……
第二段（第二个反驳点）
Secondly, while the reading states that + 阅读观点, the lecturer argues that + 听力观点. In fact, + 听力细节或例子. As a result, + 反驳结果.
第三段（第三个反驳点）
Finally, although ……, the lecturer argues that ……. . Thus, the evidence presented in the reading is not conclusive.*
（二）讨论写作
例一
原答案
I disagree with the claim that excessive consumption has become a serious problem mainly for 2 reasons. Firstly, as manufacture industry super developed in these days, the increasement of personal using products will not cause pressure to the industry, in contrast, it will promote the economy development and make progress to the society. Secondly, technologies to protect the environment are quite emphasized nowadays, and the factories are ordered to use clean energy source strictly limited to produce pollution, thus excessive consumption will noy lead to problem to the environment as it’s only a small part of the global manufature chain. So there’s no need to worry about that.
问题与修改说明
- 数字表达
- 原文：“…mainly for 2 reasons.”
- 在正式写作中，通常用文字而非数字，改为“…mainly for two reasons.”
- 行业表述
- 原文：“as manufacture industry super developed in these days…”
- “manufacture industry”应改为“manufacturing industry”；“super developed”不地道，可改为“has advanced significantly”或“has greatly developed”。
- 建议改为：“as the manufacturing industry has advanced significantly in recent years…”
- “increasement”用词错误
- 原文：“the increasement of personal using products”
- 英语中没有“increasement”这种说法，应改为“increase”。
- “personal using products”表达生硬，可改为“personal use of consumer products”。
- 例如：“…the increase in the personal use of consumer products…”
- 短语搭配不恰当
- 原文：“…will not cause pressure to the industry…”
- 正确表达通常是“cause pressure on the industry”或“place pressure on the industry”。
- 经济发展相关表达
- 原文：“it will promote the economy development and make progress to the society.”
- 建议：“it will promote economic development and benefit society.”
- “Secondly”段落的表述问题
- “technologies to protect the environment are quite emphasized nowadays…” 可以更清晰表述为“environmental protection technologies are strongly emphasized nowadays…”
- “the factories are ordered to use clean energy source strictly limited to produce pollution”句子结构混乱。应拆分或重构，说明工厂被要求使用清洁能源、受到严格污染管控。
- 例如：“factories are mandated to use clean energy sources and are strictly limited in how much pollution they can produce.”
- 拼写错误
- “will noy lead to problem” 应为“will not lead to problems…”
- “global manufature chain” 应为“global manufacturing chain.”
- 用词和逻辑衔接
- 原文：“…as it’s only a small part of the global manufature chain. So there’s no need to worry about that.”
- 过于口语化，可改为较正式的“Therefore”或“Hence”衔接总结观点。
- “there’s no need to worry about that”可改为“there is no need for concern”或“there is little cause for alarm”以表述更得体。
修改后示例版本
I disagree with the claim that excessive consumption has become a serious problem mainly for two reasons. First, as the manufacturing industry has advanced significantly in recent years, an increase in the personal use of consumer products will not place undue pressure on the industry. On the contrary, it could promote economic development and benefit society. Second, environmental protection technologies are strongly emphasized today, and factories must use clean energy sources while adhering to strict pollution limits. As a result, excessive consumption will not lead to serious environmental issues, given that it constitutes only a small portion of the global manufacturing chain. Therefore, there is no need for concern.
例二：
题目：
This week, we’ll examine issues in education reform. For example, some educators think that by focusing mainly on foundational knowledge in subjects like reading, math, and science, schools are not fully preparing students for success in the workplace. These educators argue that soft skills-nonacademic skills such as being empathetic or having a strong work ethic-should be part of the curriculum, with classroom time dedicated to developing these skills. Do you agree? Why or why not?
原答案：
I agree with the claim that soft skills course should be added into the curriculum. Firstly, as the society laying more and more emphasis on the comprehensive capabilities, schools have the duty to cultivate relevant skills from an early stage of educations. For example, the skills of making a speech in front of the public might benefits the student a lot in future career. Secondly, adding these courses will make lives in school more abundant and vibrant. Students can enrich their lide experience and broaden their horizons from these courses, rather than just sitting in classrooms and preparing for the exams all day along. Therefore, there is no arguement that soft skill courses should be added.
原句 1:
I agree with the claim that soft skills course should be added into the curriculum.
- 问题：
- “course”应为复数“courses”，因为泛指一类课程；
- “added into”应为“added to”，固定搭配为“add something to something”。
- ✅ 修改：I agree with the claim that soft skills courses should be added to the curriculum.
原句 2:
Firstly, as the society laying more and more emphasis on the comprehensive capabilities, schools have the duty to cultivate relevant skills from an early stage of educations.
- 问题：
- “laying”应为“lays”，主语是“the society”（单数）；
- “the comprehensive capabilities”应去掉“the”，或者明确特指；
- “educations”是不可数名词，应为“education”。
- ✅ 修改：Firstly, as society lays more and more emphasis on comprehensive capabilities, schools have the duty to cultivate relevant skills from an early stage of education.
原句 3:
For example, the skills of making a speech in front of the public might benefits the student a lot in future career.
- 问题：
- “skills of making a speech”不地道，建议改为“public speaking skills”；
- “benefits”应为动词原形“benefit”，因为主语是“skills”；
- “the student”应为“students”，因为上文是泛指；
- “in future career”应为“in their future careers”（加冠词、改为复数更自然）。
- ✅ 修改：For example, public speaking skills might benefit students a lot in their future careers.
原句 4:
Secondly, adding these courses will make lives in school more abundant and vibrant.
- 问题：
- “lives in school”搭配不自然，应为“school life”；
- “abundant”用在人时不太合适，常用于物；可改为“enriching”或“meaningful”。
- ✅ 修改：Secondly, adding these courses will make school life more enriching and vibrant.
原句 5:
Students can enrich their lide experience and broaden their horizons from these courses, rather than just sitting in classrooms and preparing for the exams all day along.
- 问题：
- “lide”应为拼写错误，正确为“life”；
- “from these courses”应为“through these courses”更地道；
- “all day along”应为“all day long”（固定搭配）。
- ✅ 修改：Students can enrich their life experience and broaden their horizons through these courses, rather than just sitting in classrooms and preparing for exams all day long.
原句 6:
Therefore, there is no arguement that soft skill courses should be added.
- 问题：
- “arguement” 拼写错误，应为“argument”；
- “soft skill courses”应为复数“soft skills courses”；
- “there is no argument that…” 的意思是“毫无争议”，但英语中更自然表达为：“there is no doubt that…” 或 “it is clear that…”。
- ✅ 修改：Therefore, there is no doubt that soft skills courses should be added.
完整范文
I agree with the claim that soft skills courses should be added to the curriculum.
Firstly, as society lays more and more emphasis on comprehensive capabilities, schools have the responsibility to cultivate these skills from an early stage of education. For example, public speaking skills can greatly benefit students in their future careers.
Secondly, adding such courses can make school life more enriching and vibrant. Students will be able to broaden their horizons and gain valuable life experience through these courses, rather than just sitting in classrooms preparing for exams all day long. Therefore, there is no doubt that soft skills courses should be included in the school curriculum.
Firstly, as society lays more and more emphasis on comprehensive capabilities…
我们来详细解释一下为什么是 “lays” 而不是你以为的伴随状语 “laying”。
你认为这里的 “as society laying…” 是一种 “伴随状语” 的结构，所以应该用 laying 对吧？
但其实这个句子里的 “as” 并不是引导伴随状语，而是引导一个时间状语从句或原因状语从句。
“as” 在这里是一个连词，意思是：
- “当……的时候”（时间）
- “因为……”（原因）
结构分析：
as + 主语 + 谓语动词
→ as society lays…
你可以把这个从句单独拿出来：
Society lays more and more emphasis on comprehensive capabilities.
整个结构是个完整的句子，所以在连接到主句时，仍然要保留完整的主谓结构。
为什么不能用 laying？
laying 是现在分词，它不能单独构成一个从句，只能作为伴随状语、非谓语动词、或进行时态的一部分。
如果你写成：
As society laying more and more emphasis…
这就成了语法错误，因为 “laying” 不是一个谓语动词，句子缺少谓语。
举例对比说明
| 正确表达 | 结构 | 用法说明 |
|---|---|---|
| As society lays more emphasis… | 主语 + 谓语 | ✅ as 引导从句，结构完整 |
| Society laying more emphasis, schools should… | 伴随状语 | ✅ “laying” 是非谓语，前面无 as |
| As society is laying more emphasis… | 主语 + be + V-ing | ✅ 进行时，从句完整 |
| Laying more emphasis, society helps students… | 分词结构 | ✅ 开头分词做状语 |
总之：
“as society lays…” 是一个完整的从句结构，“lays” 是谓语动词。
如果你想用“laying”，就不能用“as”，而是要把它变成非谓语结构（比如放在句首，表示伴随）。
例三
Is it better to have many friends or a small group of close friends?
原文：
I agree with claim that having many friends will helps more.
Firstly, having many friends means having various sources of information. For example, friends come from different country might give you brand new knowledge of cultures and history, which can actually broaden your horizon.
Secondly, you can benefit from having many friends by receiving numerous kinds of help when you are trapped in tough situations. For example, when you are confused in a math course and have no idea of the theory, a friend majoring in math might could help you out by suffering accedamic instrusctions and disscussions. Thus I hold the view that it is better to have many friends.
出现的错误：
I agree with claim that having many friends will helps more.
问题：
- with claim → with the claim（缺冠词）
- will helps → will help（助动词后动词原形）
For example, friends come from different country might give you brand new knowledge of cultures and history, which can actually broaden your horizon.
问题：
- come → coming（定语从句省略 who are）
- country → countries（复数）
- might give you brand new knowledge of cultures → might provide you with new knowledge about different cultures
For example, when you are confused in a math course and have no idea of the theory, a friend majoring in math might could help you out by suffering accedamic instrusctions and disscussions.
问题：
- in a math course → about a math course（更自然）
- have no idea of → have no idea about
- might could → might / could（二选一）
- suffering → offering（明显拼错）
- accedamic instrusctions and disscussions → academic instructions and discussions（拼写错误）
最终润色后的官方范文
I agree with the claim that having many friends will help more. Firstly, having many friends means having access to a variety of sources of information. For example, friends coming from different countries might provide you with new knowledge about different cultures and history, which can actually broaden your horizons.
Secondly, having many friends allows you to receive help from various people when you encounter difficult situations. For instance, when you are confused about a math course and have no idea about the theory, a friend majoring in math might help you out by offering academic instructions and discussions.
Therefore, I firmly believe that it is better to have many friends because of the valuable knowledge and support they can provide.
例四:
题目：
Today, we’re going to talk about the benefits and drawbacks of remote work. Many companies have implemented remote work policies in the past few years, and many others are considering joining them. Given that this represents a major change in the way we work and interact with each other, companies must carefully consider all relevant details before making a decision. What do you think? Is remote work beneficial, or do you think it’s a bad idea?
原始答案：
I hold the view that remote work is beneficial for two reasons.
Firstly, remote work provides a better access to more flexible working environment. For example, employees can choose to work from home or in a coffee shop nearby, which is quite convinient and saves plenty of time. Further more, due to the advanced technologies of networks, there do not exist too much problems when communicating remotely.
Secondly, It is an outstanding method to relieve stress caused by the hard work. Espacially when working from home, the relaxing automospher can greatly comfort workers and thus they can accomplish their task with better moods and higher efficiency.
好的，我已经仔细查看了您的作文，并找出了其中的错误。以下是对您作文的修改和更符合托福官方标准的最终范文。
- 拼写错误：
- “convinient” → “convenient”
- “Further more” → “Furthermore”
- “Espacially” → “Especially”
- “automospher” → “atmosphere”
- 语法错误：
- “better access to more flexible working environment” → “better access to a more flexible working environment”
- 需要加上冠词 “a” 来修饰 “working environment”。
- “there do not exist too much problems” → “there are not many problems”
- 使用 “there are” 而不是 “there do not exist”，并且 “too much” 应改为 “many” 来修饰可数名词 “problems”。
- “Secondly, It is an outstanding method” → “Secondly, it is an outstanding method”
- “it” 不需要大写，除非在句首。
- “comfort workers” → “comforts workers”
- 主语 “atmosphere” 是单数，因此谓语动词应该是 “comforts”。
修改后的作文：
I believe that remote work is beneficial for two main reasons.
Firstly, remote work provides better access to a more flexible working environment. For example, employees can choose to work from home or from a nearby coffee shop, which is quite convenient and saves a significant amount of time. Furthermore, due to the advanced technology of networks, there are not many problems when communicating remotely.
Secondly, remote work is an excellent way to relieve stress caused by a heavy workload. Especially when working from home, the relaxing atmosphere can greatly comfort workers, allowing them to accomplish their tasks with better moods and higher efficiency.
总结
（一）讨论写作中你最容易犯的典型错误
| 错误类型 | 典型表现 | 正确写法 | 易错原因 |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1. 冠词遗漏 | agree with claim / employ strategy | agree with the claim / employ a strategy | 中式思维不加冠词 |
| 2. 主谓不一致 | will helps / the society laying | will help / the society lays | 忘记检查谓语动词 |
| 3. 拼写错误 | arguement / manufature / instrusctions | argument / manufacturing / instructions | 拼写不熟 |
| 4. 动词搭配不当 | cause pressure to / suffer instructions | cause pressure on / offer instructions | 中式直译习惯 |
| 5. 不地道表达 | abundant life / by suffering instructions | enriching life / by offering instructions | 单词用法不熟 |
| 6. 逻辑衔接不强 | so / because + 断句 | therefore / as a result / so that | 转折、因果表达单一 |
| 7. 用词不规范 | 2 reasons / preys / increasement | two reasons / prey / increase | 考试正式文风意识弱 |
| 8. 结构散乱 | 句子杂乱、信息堆砌 | 用固定句式简洁表达 | 缺少模板支撑思路 |
（二）托福讨论写作 万能答题模板（适用于独立写作）
开头段（亮明立场）
I agree/disagree with the claim that + 题目核心内容 + for two main reasons.
或者
Personally, I believe that + 我的观点 + for two reasons.
第一段（第一个原因）
Firstly, + 第一个大理由（知识面、个人成长、体验）.
For example, + 具体例子（真实/假设都行）.
This can + 积极影响（broaden horizons, improve skills, gain experience）.
第二段（第二个原因）
Secondly, + 第二个大理由（资源、人脉、帮助）.
For instance, + 具体例子（生活/学习/工作场景）.
As a result, + 好处（solve problems, get support, succeed easier）.
结尾（总结）
Therefore, I firmly believe that + 再次强调我的观点 + because of the reasons mentioned above.
（三）常用万能表达句型
| 场景 | 表达 | 作用 |
|---|---|---|
| 引出原因 | There are two main reasons for my opinion. | 开头衔接 |
| 举例 | For example / For instance / Such as | 引出例子 |
| 解释好处 | This can help me… / This allows people to… | 说明益处 |
| 结果句 | As a result / Therefore / Consequently | 引出结果 |
| 强调观点 | I firmly believe that… / I strongly support… | 结尾加强语气 |
（四）检查清单（考试最后3分钟自检）
- 检查所有单词拼写
- 检查所有动词是否和主语一致
- 检查冠词是否齐全（the / a / an）
- 检查“so / because”句子是否完整
- 检查数字 → 用文字表达（two而不是2）
- 检查不熟悉的短语搭配（中式直译）
- 检查每段逻辑是否有：理由-例子-结果
- 检查是否有 Therefore / As a result / For example 这种衔接词
- 检查全文是否保持正式风格
- 最后一句话是否再次强调观点
（五）完整范文模板示例
I agree with the claim that having many friends is better than having a small group of close friends for two main reasons.
Firstly, having many friends means having access to more information and different perspectives. For example, friends from different backgrounds can share unique knowledge about their cultures and experiences, which can broaden my horizons and help me better understand the world.
Secondly, a large social circle allows me to get help from various people when I face difficulties. For instance, if I have trouble with a math problem, a friend who majors in math might help me out by offering academic instructions. This makes life easier and more efficient.
Therefore, I firmly believe that having many friends is better because it brings more resources, opportunities, and support in both study and life.